Introducing McSweeney's Internet Substackency
Another in a series of attempts to help get people to see our work via a social media platform.
Hello and welcome to McSweeney’s Internet Substackency, the substack of McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, a humor and satire website run by McSweeney’s Publishing. McSweeney's has many different literary and artistic pursuits, including books, a print quarterly, magazines, and an assortment of other endeavors.
McSweeney’s Publishing also has its own newsletter, which is very informative and almost certainly better than this one will ever be. But if you are a fan of the Tendency, or funny things in general, then this email newsletter will be for you. We publish daily humor almost every day, so if you miss a day, a week, or a fortnight, we will try to get you back up to speed with a curated collection of links to recent and classic Tendency pieces.
We are still learning how to use this platform, so please bear with us while we get all our stacks subbed and subs stacked. Our hope is you will click on the links provided to read the articles in full and then laugh, either to yourself or out loud, preferably in a public setting, so as to provoke curiosity from other coffee shop patrons, haunted hayride riders, hovercraft crew members, or whoever is in your general jolly vicinity. Then, ideally, you would share the source of your laughter with them and, in turn, bring a new Tendency reader into the world.
We promise this newsletter will be as non-invasive as possible. It will arrive in your electronic inbox gently and with very little fanfare, no more than once or twice a week.
Now, as forewarned, time for some links…
ChatGPT has become indispensable to plagiarists and spambots worldwide. Now, OpenAI is thrilled to introduce ChatGPT 5.0, the most advanced version of the popular virtual assistant to date. With groundbreaking improvements, GPT-5 is like having a doctor of philosophy right at your fingertips. Much like someone with a PhD, GPT-5 is capable of interactions that seem almost lifelike.
Please read the whole thing here.
No, no, great job, you disintegrated our Death Star, the first-ever pedestrian-only planet. You drove a million miles just to ruin a perfectly lovely living space.
Just admit you were jealous of our commute and hated the idea of us enjoying a holistic work-life-play housing concept optimized to balance labor and leisure.
You couldn’t bear to watch us walk with our friends to work or see us enjoy the bonding comforts of a carefully designed, open-plan, living-first colony. It’s honestly sad.
Please read all of this one, too.
A PAUSE FOR A WORD FROM OUR STORE…
Chris Koslowski’s debut novel is a window into life on the fringes of professional wrestling, a uniquely brutal American pastime, and an intelligent, self-aware commentary on modern identity, artifice, and violence. With whip-smart humor and biting insight, Kayfabe challenges readers to consider the truths that fakery can expose, exploring the boundaries of sport, spectacle, entertainment, and exploitation, and centering a strange family seeking connection in an even stranger world.
Preorder Kayfabe over at our store.
BACK TO THE LINKAGE...
Today is a precious gift. Even if I do not walk out of this Target with a single, solitary Minecraft-themed item.
I am a confident and unique being who can pick up a Tech Deck mini skateboard, stare directly at the label ULTRA RARE, and feel absolutely no urge to beg or whine.
I admit that I am powerless against the words “collect them all” and will seek the support of my sponsor, Mom, when needed.
And, finally, this week’s BLAST FROM THE PAST is this all-timer from our archives to help ring in Franz Kafka’s birthday on July 3…
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It had been crossing so long it could not remember. As it stopped in the middle to look back, a car sped by, spinning it around. Disoriented, the chicken realized it could no longer tell which way it was going. It stands there still.
Come on, do it for the birthday boy, and head on over to the Tendency to read the whole thing.
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This is awesome. I was just considering whether or not I should submit an article. This makes it waaaaay easier!