Timothy McSweeney Is Full of Regret After Reading Your Best of the Year Lists
Hello and welcome to the twenty-fourth edition of McSweeney’s Internet Substackency, the Substack of McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, a humor and satire website run by McSweeney’s Publishing.
Well, 2024 is mercifully coming to an end. It wasn’t the worst year (looking at you, 2020), but it wasn’t the best (thanks for nothing, November 5th). Of course, who knows what’s coming for us in 2025? Perhaps a year from now, we’ll yearn to return to these simpler days of record droughts, ridiculously awful cabinet appointments, and Hawk Tuah crypto scams.
ANYWAY.
To keep from being total downers, here are a few things in 2024 that we enjoyed:
“Snake Plant (The Past is Alive)” by Hurray for the Riff Raff
James: A Novel by Percival Everett
My Old Ass by Megan Park
Ripley by Steven Zaillian (based on Patricia Highsmith’s novel)
Cammy (@epic.cammy1933) on TikTok
Anything by Sabrina Imbler on Defector
Meredith Dairy Marinated Sheep & Goat Cheese. Yes, we know we already mentioned this in a past installment, but have you tried it yet? It’s absurdly good. Absurdly expensive, too, but it comes all the way from Australia, so give those sheep and goats from down under a break and treat yourselves, mates.
There were other things we enjoyed, too, so please don’t be upset if we left anything you liked out. We are sure those things are more than fine. Feel free to leave them in the comments.
Alright, on with the links…
Men are so disaffected right now. We must affect them again. I’m not sure what that means, but I know the future of democracy depends on it. There’s no denying how poorly men are doing—this has been true for decades. The educational and professional advancement of women has been awful for men, and it’s forced them to take dramatic steps like considering going to therapy. It’s all just a disaster.
Read the rest of this very important call to action over on the Tendency.
Just like you, this groundbreaking thermostat rewrites the laws of thermodynamics to be hot and cold simultaneously. It can instantly cool any space to 28 degrees Fahrenheit while simultaneously warming it to 114.
A WORD OR TWO FROM OUR STORE…
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Illustoria is the official publication of the International Alliance of Youth Writing Centers, publishing writing and art by young people alongside accomplished professionals.
Order recent issues or get a subscription to Illustoria over at our store.
DAVID: Let’s talk about the guest list. Who’s coming to this party?
JEN: I knocked on thousands of doors. Millions of doors. Front doors. Back doors. Screen doors. French doors. Weird side garage doors. Fans of the Doors. Doors are coming to this party, is what I’m saying.
DAVID: Who else?
STEPHANIE: Celebrities and nepo-Republicans.
And here’s this week’s BLAST FROM THE PAST, a classic Tendency piece from our archives…
I must confess to being rather blindsided by the end of our relationship. It seems Captain Von Trapp and I misunderstood each other. I assumed he was looking for a wife of taste and sophistication, who was a dead ringer for Tippi Hedren; instead he wanted to marry a curtain-wearing religious fanatic who shouts every word she says.
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dear mcsweeney's,
thank you for these as always!
i always love ginny hogan and "We Need to Save the Men" is no exception!
much love
myq