Hello and welcome to the fifth edition of McSweeney’s Internet Substackency, the substack of McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, a humor and satire website run by McSweeney’s Publishing.
Thanks to all who participated in our poll about whether we should have automatically signed up everyone on our email list for this Substack. Nearly 80 percent of you felt we did the right thing by not automatically signing up everyone. So score one for decency in this sordid world.
Now, on to some links. Please share these pieces with everyone on your email lists.
I want to be very clear: this video series is specifically for well-off divorced fathers who post angry truck selfies to Facebook. Do your under-seasoned canapes consistently disappoint horny wine moms? If so, over the next minute, learn why men like you need a radically disruptive mindset to become an omnipotent god of fresh herb maintenance and preparation.
For weeks before the journey, dreams taunted me, insisting that I visit the Pink Pony Club. I knew I could be happy there. I can be happy anywhere there is liquor. I heard this club was a place where boys and girls could both be queens every single day.
A WORD OR TWO FROM OUR STORE…
First published in 2010, The Instructions introduced the literary world to acclaimed author Adam Levin. Combining a crackling voice reminiscent of Philip Roth with an encyclopedic mind that evokes David Foster Wallace, this novel presents a world driven equally by moral fervor and slapstick comedy—a novel that is muscular and exuberant, troubling and empathetic, monumental, breakneck, romantic, and unforgettable. Now, in honor of its thirteenth anniversary, McSweeney’s is proud to present this special Bar Mitzvah edition of Levin’s singular work. This gargantuan epic is available for the first time in two handsome and readily accessible (but still quite epic) paperbacks, featuring new art by Jeffrey Kam and an introduction by Gabriel Bump.
Buy THE INSTRUCTIONS at our store.
With Joe Biden dropping out of the race, Vice President Kamala Harris is now the presumptive nominee for the Democratic Party. As a conservative, it’s clear to me that Harris is a DEI hire who hasn’t earned the credentials necessary to be president. This is especially true compared to Donald Trump, who has never been handed anything in his life.
What, did you just fall out of a coconut tree? Please read the rest on the Tendency.
And while you’re on this momentous follow-link streak, keep it alive by going here and subscribing to Carlos Greaves’s excellent Substack, Shades of Greaves.
And here’s this week’s BLAST FROM THE PAST, a classic Tendency piece from our archives…
We are the couple who got married in the gingerbread house from “Hansel and Gretel,” and we would like to say how deeply and unreservedly sorry we are. We admit to being confused when so many were angered by our decision to spend the happiest day of our lives inside a giant confectionary wonder that is also the site of a mass infanticide, and we were dismayed to have to pause our honeymoon when we saw that our wedding hashtag, #HaveYourCakeAndSayIDo, was trending for all the wrong reasons. But the last forty-eight hours have taught us a lot, and we are ready to own up to our mistake.
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I wish you shared whole articles here :) easier to restack and keep up with publications in one place
dear mcsweeny's,
thank you for all of this!
i love "Kamala Harris is a DEI Hire; We Need A President Who Earned Everything Himself."
it's perfect. thank you for sharing!
love
myq